This is my uncle's latest forward to me.  Do especially note #3 (that would be Sundance), #6 (If Gabe didn't clean up well on short notice I would be dateless for all weddings and family events, like my Mom's Christmas Party tomorrow), and #16 (I have always loved the phrase, "But I repeat myself").

DEEP OBSERVATIONS ON LIFE:

1) When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his
sleep ... not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

2) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache,
do what it says on the aspirin bottle:

  "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

3) "Oh, you hate your job?  Why didn't you say so?  There's a support group
for that.  It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."

4) "The designated driver is not a desirable job.  If you ever get sucked
into doing it, have fun with it.
At the end of the night,  drop them off at the wrong house!"

5) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there's a man on base."

6) "Relationships are hard.  It's like a full time job and we should treat
it like one.  If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you:
         They should give you  two  weeks'  notice.
           There should be severance pay.
         They should have to find you a temp."

7) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the
lake and threw her off the boat.  I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to
teach you how to swim.'"

8) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal
skills than men.  I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh!"

9) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my
fish burger and I realize ...
Oh my!  I may be eating a slow learner."

10) "I think I know how Chicago and Detroit got started.  A bunch of people
in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just
isn't cold enough.  Let's go west!"

11) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead."
       --Johnny Carson--

12) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."

13) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and
that's the law."
        --Jerry Seinfeld--

14) "Remember, in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you
have to line up quietly
in a single file line from smallest to tallest.  What is the logic in that?
Do tall people burn slower?"

15) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many.
       Monogamy is the same."
        --Oscar Wilde--

16) "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of
Congress.  But I repeat myself."
       --Mark Twain--

17) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student.  At least
they can find Afghanistan!"

18) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a
look that says,  'My God, you're right!  I never would've thought of
that!'"
       --Dave Barry--

19) Do you know why they call it "PMS"?  Because "Mad Cow Disease" was
taken.
       ~Unknown and presumed dead~

So my friend made me do this, and I thought I should share it with everyone...why not right?

1.  First name?  Jordan

2.  Were you named after anyone?  Well, yeah, a place, the Jordan River, my mother had just visited Isreal.

3.  Do you wish on stars?  Nope, just pray.

4.  When did you last cry?  Last night.

5.  Do you like your handwriting?  Yeah, especially my signature.

6.  What is your favorite lunch meat?  Ham

7.  What is your birthdate?  May 24, 1981

8.  Mountains or Beach?  Beach

9.  If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you?  I would like to think so.

10. Do you have a journal?  Not a written one, but xanga, so I guess.

11. Do you use sarcasm a lot?  Sure do.

12. Do you have a nickname?  Georgia, George, JL, Sis

13. Would you bungee jump?  NO.

14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  No.

15. Do you think that you are strong?  No, even though other people seem to think I am.

16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?  Strawberry Cheesecake.

17. Shoe Size?  7 1/2.

18. Red or pink?  Red, definately.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?  I have to have someone else's opinion before I make up my mind on anything, even if I don't listen to them.

20. Who do you miss most?  Aubs, Nannar, Tre, my brother, not necessarily in that order, well, maybe.

21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back?  Yeah, or post it, depending upon how you got it.

22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now?  Dark Jeans and Camel Heels.

23. What are you listening to right now?  The printer in my office.

24. Last thing you ate?  Southwestern Egg Rolls from Chili's.

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?  Blood Red (I don't know if that's a crayon color, but it should be).

26. What is the weather like right now?  Awesome: crisp, 40's, sunny, windy.

27. Last person you talked to on the phone? Donovan's aunt Janet.

28. 1st thing you notice about the opposite sex?  Smile, smile lines.

29. Do you like the person who sent this to you?  LOVE HER.

30. Favorite Drink?  Diet Coke, Coors Light, Rupplemintz.

31. What is your favorite sport?  College Basketball.

32. Hair Color?  Dark Blond/Light Brown.

33. Eye Color?  Blue-Green.

34. Do you wear contacts?  Nope, and I can't find my glasses in my disaster of a house.

35. Favorite Food?  Seigi's NY Strip and Twice Baked Potato, at home.

36. Last Movie You Watched?  Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, kinda cute.

37. Favorite Day of the Year?  The day I put up my Christmas Tree, it varies.

38. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?  Happy Endings, always.

39. Summer or Winter?  Winter, cause of fires and music.

40. Hugs or Kisses?  Hugs.

41. What is You Favorite Dessert?  Cheesecake.

42. Who is Most Likely to Respond?  Probably Wells.

43. Who is Least Likely to Respond?  Aubrey, cause she sent it to me.

44. Living Arrangements?  Me, Ellie Mae, and Wendell (although I never see him)

45. What books are you reading?  Roland Barthes' A Lover's Discourse (bought it at Shakespeare & Co in Paris and never finished it).

46. What is on your mouse pad?  Don't have one.

47. What did you watch on TV last night?  A Miami Heat basketball game, well, until I feel asleep.

48. Favorite Sounds?  Music at the Sundance mixed with it's bar chatter.

49. What's the farthest you've been from home?  Madrid.

Well, kids, there you go.

Right, so, I sold my car to an honestly filthy Mexican man named George (my nickname) with a tank top on who paid me in 10's, 5's, and 1's (all $1500).  At least I didn't have to pay to have it hauled all the way back to Tulsa, I just sold it in OKC.  Happy about that.

So PROBLEMS: 

1.  My dad is picking me up for work and taking me home, which essentially means he knows everything about my life, house, finances, etc. now and makes me work longer hours.

2.  No ride to the bar, and having Quentin (some of you might know him as Prof) and/or random guys take me home is not the greatest idea, and I got a true scolding for walking home by Gabe (it was a nice night, and I live less than a mile away).

3.  Gabe is single now, so we have been going out ALL the TIME, and everymorning my father sees me hungover before I even get a cigarette or coke.  For those of you who know me well and/or biblically, you know you don't want to see me before I get my wake-up fix.

4.  I only have 10's, 5's, and 1's (totalling $1500) to buy a car that runs.  My dad will help, but then he will hold it over my head for years.  AND, I need to get a car that I can show houses in...yeah, for $1500, not possible.

OH MY GOD I NEED A CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lighter note: I miss you guys, you can call as often as you need (you know who you are).

Thanks to the people that offered couches and rides while I was stuck in the city.  That's what OIL friends are for (the RICH ones at least).

Later